How Do I Talk to My Daughter about Her First Bra?
Where is your little girl getting her introduction to bras? Let’s face it, a Katy Perry music video might not be the best source of information for your growing girl. Unfortunately, media is where a lot of girls are getting their introduction to “grown-up” things. Through modern media, our little girls are being pushed to grow up at younger and younger ages. Make-up, suggestive clothing, and over-sexualized dolls are being marketed to our little girls. Sexy bras are just one more thing in the lineup. Let’s be realistic. A nine-year-old doesn’t need padding. But more stores are selling push-up bras to your little girls, many of whom don’t have anything to push up! Chances are, even if your daughter isn’t already wearing a bra, she is feeling pressured to.
So how do we introduce our girls to bras? And how do you combat this pressure for frills and padding? Let’s be realistic. A nine-year-old doesn’t need padding. Let’s let our daughter’s body, not society, dictate what she does and does not need. Aside from a bra, your girl will need a wise and Godly basis for understanding her changing body and the functionality of a bra. That’s where mom’s mentoring comes in!
It can be tricky to find something age-appropriate for the little girl that she is. (We also understand the conflict that can arise in shopping settings when trends are telling your daughter something that you don’t agree with.) So we’ve compiled a list for you to skip the lines and find some good introductory bras for your girl. Once you’ve chosen one that suits her specific needs, give it to her as a gift! Sit down with her and explain her changing body, the functional use of bras and basic bra maintenance, and how fun it is to be a girl! We’ve included some of the main talking points you’ll need to hit below.
We’ve provided the links to the sources of these samples. Shop away!
- Yellowberry is a brand we love that has a great vision for age-appropriate underthings!
- JcPenny has some variety. Some padded, some not.
- Wal-Mart has some good options from Xhiliration or Fruit of the Loom.
- Target carries some cute ones from Xhiliartion and Fruit of the Loom as well.
- Old Navy specializes in the classic cami bra.
Once you’ve found the right one, it’s time to get talking!
A few main discussion points to hit:
- Encourage her that her body is uniquely designed by God! Her bra size will be unique to her body, and may fluctuate throughout life. As we like to say at Secret Keeper Girl, “the hills are alive!”
- Her perfectly designed body was designed with a purpose! Talk about the anatomy details of how her body is changing. There are a lot of great resources available like It’s Great to be a Girl! by Dannah Gresh. Discuss the functionality of breasts, and that if she ever becomes a mom they will be a tool for bonding with and nourishing her baby!
- Set the foundation for her to have God-fueled body confidence to combat cultures lies and pressures about her body. Unfortunately, at this point in their development, girls are often subject to comments from classmates about the noticeable change. Equip her to deflect these types of encounters! Encourage your girl that this change is what is right for her body, and that she can be secure in that.
If you feel overwhelmed about guiding a girl through her changing body in a world that is spitting lies, insecurities, and sexual immorality at her, check out Dannah Gresh’s Raising Body-Confident Daughters (8 Great Dates). It’s a great tool to get give you the confidence you need to give her the confidence she deserves!
Dannah Gresh’s Secret Keeper Girl Tour is a faith-based mother-daughter connecting experience. This 2 1/2 hour event features two fun fashion shows that demonstrate modesty and true beauty, deep Bible teaching, live worship, and stories that help girls aged 7-12 embrace true beauty and modesty. Incredible balloon sculptures, bouncing beach ball competitions, mother/daughter conversation time & colorful confetti cannons make the night unforgettable. Click the video below for a sneak peak.